The Zang Fool's blog

A woman leaving an acupuncturists office in Echo Park, California, expressed mild confusion and vague irritation after an appointment with local acupuncturist, Terry Vain.  “He told me that my liver was hot.  What the hell does that mean?” 

I've been working out the lyrics of a new tune called "Lets be doctors".  Here they are for your enjoyment.  Rock On!! 

You can’t keep a bunch of single minded, greedy mothafuc@#$a’s down. 

OK, I am, like, sooooo tired of you WCA people running around here and acting like a big bunch of know-it-alls. It makes me sick! “Oh, we’re WCA. I’m Lisa and I’m Skip. We started community acupuncture. We have a staff of ten. We see 430 patients a week and gross over a quarter million a year. We’ve been doing this since Clinton was in office.

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In a surprising move that has bolstered the upstart community acupuncture movement, renowned Buddhist acupuncturist Jordan Van Toast has opened a community acupuncture clinic in Seattle, Washington. The grand opening of KommuniKi Kommunity Klinic (KKK) saw 100 residents of Seattle treated by the legendary Jordan himself, who was happy to announce the unveiling of a powerful new treatment.

Following the implementation in February 2008 of in-store health clinics in Atlanta, Little Rock and Dallas under “The Clinic at Wal-Mart” brand, Wal-Mart now has its sights set on the holistic health market with the opening of Wal-Mart Community Acupuncture clinics in several major urban centers across America by years end. Wal-Mart Senior Vice President and president, health and wellness Dr. John Agwaunobi said, “Chinese medicine and pharmacology are a great treasure house and efforts should be made to increase both access and affordability, which seem to go hand in hand.”

Cannabustion, the direct burning of cannabis sativa on the skin for therapeutic effect, is being touted as a new and powerfully effective treatment modality capable of treating a variety of health conditions, says the director of acupuncture research and development at Misty Mind Acupuncture College, Paul "Don't" Wakeham. The technique is believed to be as powerful as traditional moxabustion, which uses mugwart in various degrees of purity. "Cannibustion is similar to moxabustion in that regard." said Wakeham from his office at the college in Eugene, Oregon. "You can use some really killer shit or some reg's. It depends what you are trying to do...and how much cash the customer has. Not to mention that sometimes all you have is schwag and that will have to do because it's better than nothing, I guess."

Facial Rejuvenation Without Borders (FRWB) recently completed a two-week relief campaign for enemy combatants detained at Camp Delta in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Group founder and spokesperson, Emily Shelton, described the visit as a “great success” and hopes to return there in the near future. Speaking from her summer home in Berkeley, California, she said, “Since these guys aren’t going anywhere soon, it would be good for us to go back once a year indefinitely.”